You Need To Know This: 8 Signs Your Partner Is Emotionally Unavailable
Photo credit: @chrissyteigen
In a relationship, emotional availability is essential. Why? Because this can help you and your partner to be connected in a real and authentic way. You don't want to get involved in a relationship that doesn't value you and is not interested in committing to you.
Q: What does "emotionally unavailable" mean?
Eden's Answer: Well, we all know that feelings are overwhelming, but to those who are emotionally unavailable, these feelings are like a task to them. They don't like vulnerable moments that would create a real connection. They have a hard time receiving and showing love because they don't even understand love on their own.
If you're in a relationship with someone you can't connect with emotionally, there's a good chance that the relationship won't work. But, as human beings, we are naive. The longer we are in a relationship, the more we want to make it work, and we keep convincing ourselves that our partner will change.
You have to remember that for a relationship to last, both of you have to show up not just physically but also emotionally, especially through trying times.
How would you know that your partner is emotionally unavailable, and it's time that you both need to talk to someone?
Here are 8 signs to know if your partner is emotionally unavailable.
1. Not been in a long-term relationship
How long was your partners' last relationship? I know it's awkward to talk about exes, but relationship history might give you some hints. If he/she hasn't been in a meaningful and long-term relationship, then chances are they are not capable of committing to one. It's better to know this one early on.
2. They can't describe, and they are afraid to talk about their true feelings.
When someone is emotionally unavailable, it can be difficult for them to say that they are frustrated or disappointed. They can't handle a range of emotions and conflicts. When conflicts arise, they give you a silent treatment.
Photo credit: @clairetheheartbreakcoach
3. They are not good at showing affection.
What is intimacy to you? For some, including myself, intimacy is about the human touch (I also talked about the benefits of human touch that you can read here), compliments, sweet little gestures, and of course, good sex. If your partner avoids showing intimate actions to you, then most likely, they are emotionally unavailable.
4. They more often change the subject when you bring up something emotional.
Emotionally unavailable partners are uncomfortable talking about their feelings and other people's emotions as well. When they are in this situation, they tend to change the subject or make fun just to avoid the discussion.
5. You feel that they are unsupportive of you.
You have to ask yourself, "does he/she supports me?" When you feel that you aren't supported, it can wear on you. Aside from feeling unsupportive, your partner does not understand you or isn't interested in anything to do with your life.
6. They keep your lives separate.
In a long-term relationship, there comes a time that your lives will be intertwined. Your friends will become your partner's friends and vice versa, and that's usually the situation. With an emotionally unavailable partner, they tend to separate you with their friends or even their family as long as they can.
7. They pull away... farther away.
The more you try to connect with your partner, the farther they pull away. Emotionally unavailable people withdraw when you talk about conflict or the future of your relationship.
8. They are less interested in making an effort in the relationship.
When this happens, well, it's evident that the relationship is on edge.
Now, you know some of the red flags of an emotionally unavailable partner. To have a healthy relationship, commitment, and being emotionally available are essential.
Especially on the hard and trying times of your relationship.
Having a partner that is not as committed as you are may weigh you down and this might affect your mental health. You have to remember that you can't change a person's ways. They have to acknowledge the deeper reason why they are emotionally unavailable, and you can trace it back to their childhood. They are the only ones who can change themselves; no one can. Yes, you can help them by giving support and understanding. But proceed with caution, because it may take a while.
Have you experienced something like this in your relationships? Let us know how you overcome it; comment down below!