How to Become Emotionally Independent
Updated: 3 days ago
Photo credit: @charlyjordan
“There is no love fully capable of filling the void in a person who does not love himself.”
Mental Health Awareness has already been all around these days. Especially during this tragic pandemic season. Unfortunately, there have already been speculations going on how the next wave of COVID-19 would be targeting every individual’s mental health.
You see, human beings are natural-born social beings. And because of this, we love to interact and be interacted with. We, one way or another, admit it or not, crave attention from the people around us, most notably from those who are closest to us. But did you know this too could be very unhealthy? It could be dragging and toxic. Because craving for attention by others leads to the need for validation — making us needy and drastically becoming emotional and worst dependent on the people around us. We are natural-born social beings. Therefore it is normal for us to be sociable and to mingle with others, and it can be healthy. Yes. Technically. But we are not talking about just being social; we are talking about too much of all these.
Too much craving for attention, too much-needing warmth and affection, too much asking for validation ruins one’s worth and destroys one’s stableness. As an individual, you should learn to stand on your own two feet, social being or not. Because believe it or not, we all have been through betrayal and by whom? By those closest to us. Painful, right? Well, that is the harsh truth.
In this article, I will share with you how to become emotionally independent.
First, to become emotionally independent, you have to learn to accept yourself. And by this, it means letting go of the past and accepting whatever external (and internal) judgments and criticism that may come your way.
Who you are in the past, accept it. Stop denying it. Accepting and moving past your past helps you to improve yourself; it will help you to be wiser and more capable of being stronger and achieving your goal of being emotionally independent.
And, as you will hear judgment and criticisms from yourself and your external environment, accept them. Make them your tool for self-improvement and self-enhancement. No matter where you’ll go, people judged and criticized, you are not born to please them; always remember that. As for the internal judgment and criticisms, that too will be present. But as you become more self-aware, emotionally-independent, self-accepting, loving, and caring, it will be easier to deal with such negativity, and you’ll easily be able to turn them into positivity.
As you accept yourself, you have also learned more about yourself. Thus, know yourself enough to make decisions FOR yourself. As you become emotionally independent, it means having the capability to make reasonable and logical decisions — those that are beneficial and are FOR you. Thus, you will be no longer needing to rely on someone who you view as someone who has better judgment nor making decisions. You create and decide everything on yourself, for yourself.
How does this become possible and easy? This is because you have accepted yourself as who you were and who you are. And to top it all off, you’ve given some time to know yourself. You’ve become more aware of who you are deep inside.
And as you make decisions for yourself you gain an understanding of your values and long-term goals. Self-meditate and self-reflect on what values you uphold dearly and what your long-term goals are. Be reminded and be motivated by these as for a more relaxed and more easy decision making.
Lastly, always remember that as you become emotionally independent, you’ve got to take full responsibility. Whatever your thoughts, actions, feelings, emotions, own it, and take responsibility for it. Always go back to accepting yourself. As you do this, it would be easier to do everything else.
Always remember that at the end of the day, your choices are your responsibility. You’re the sum of all your life choices.
The bottom line here is, being emotionally independent is being self-accepting and self-loving. No matter how the external environment shapes you and validates you, at the end of the day, it is on how you develop yourself and prove yourself. It is how you make the external environment’s views and opinions affect your overall well-being and mood.
Do you have some emotionally independent journey stories and tips to share for others? I’d love to hear from you!