Moment of truth...
Before my husband and I moved in together, I was very nervous. Moving straight out of my mom's house, I suddenly worried how I was going to keep the house organized and clean. I worried what would become of our relationship - would we argue more often and most importantly "Am I ready"? I was so used to my own room, with my own bed and my own closet. It was my personal space which I would now need to share with another (no less a man who won't pick up his own socks). Plenty of thoughts ran through my head. After all, it is a big step in ones relationship and should be done the smart way.
So how do you know if you're ready for this next step? Here are five ways in which you can tell if you and your partner are ready.
You've already practiced cohabiting - Officially moving in with your partner is a big deal. Trying it out before, can be the answer to your dilemma of whether it should be done or not. Practicing can be done by taking a vacation and seeing how well you can handle each other for 24 hours every day of the trip.
Q: How many days do I need to try it out for? There is no exact number of days you should give this a try (everyone is different) but you should be getting a sense of what it's like to be waking up to your partner every day before you move in together.
You've already survived a huge fight - Everyone remembers their first big fight. Remember when you thought it was the end of a great relationship? Ya, turns out that big fight is actually a great way for you to know if moving in would be successful. The reason why it's important to survive the first fight before moving in together is because you'll be needing those tools you used to mend your relationship the first time to keep chaos at bay.
You don't ignore relationship problems - By ignoring the big elephant in the room, proves the two of you are not ready to share a place together. If the same problems keep coming up and no steps are being made towards change, this will only lead for the problem to grow and then explode. Communication with your partner is important if the two of you are planning on moving in together. Talk your problems out and work together on making the situation better.
You've had the finance talk - Money should not be the reason why you've decided to take this step. But when you share a place it's best if you get your financials figured out before. Will you be splitting the rent and monthly bills down the middle or are you only going to pay for certain things? Discussing these questions and taking all things into consideration can save you big headaches in the future.
You've had 'The Talk' - One of the biggest mistakes couples make is not understanding the actual responsibilities of moving in together brings. Sometimes your judgement can be clouded by excitement and you might overlook some serious red flags suggesting it's not the right time for you. Discussing with your partner why you will be moving in together will help you make the right and mature decision. Ask questions such as why you're doing this now and what steps will be taken.
Keep in mind that moving in together will not solve any existing problems between the two of you. If anything, you'll start to notice all the things that annoy you. Cohabiting is all about creating harmony where there is massive room for disaster.
Q: How can I do this? By creating habits. You'll start to notice yourself building habits to keep the peace going in your home. Your habits will become the tradition of your home so choose them wisely.
Do you feel ready to move in together?