10 Ways In Learning To Love Yourself
“It is important in all aspects of life though it is especially important to your relationship. The first stop on the road to romance is you. It is honoring and loving oneself that opens the door for another to truly do the same.”
Photo credit: glitteriingdreams
It is always easy to love others rather than loving oneself. I mean, think for a brief moment now how do you treat yourself? In every challenge you encounter, every failure you have, every failed deal or test, what do you do or say to yourself? Sure, you sometimes pat yourself and say you can do better next time, but how about the majority of the time? What do you do or say? How about those insecurities of yours? Your doubts about your strengths and your skills?
These toxicities wreak havoc not only to your mental state but as well as your emotional and physical state. The way we treat ourselves says how much we love, care, and look after ourselves. Haven’t you noticed how easy it is for us to see the best things on one person but fail to do so on yourself? Haven’t you noticed how we easily fall in love with others yet find it hard, if not impossible, to fall in love with ourselves? Haven’t you asked yourself why this is so challenging? Why is it so hard to see the best aspects of our existence?
For me, I guess it is because it is us. We become so harsh because we are with ourselves 24/7, even when we sleep, poop, take a bath, etc. We spend all our activities and time with our self. And seeing the ugliest parts are easy to pinpoint rather than seeing the best things. Especially when just a for a second that we scrolled through our social media account and have seen something we are insecure about, we start to think of bad thoughts and self-degrading thoughts right after. It is always easy to see the worst rather than the best because we very much adore validation and affirmation from others like it is so hard to do it on yourself.
So, here are some ways to get that self-love fired up.
1. Practice positive psychology: positive affirmation.
I have a friend who is a psychology major, and she shared with me one exercise that was taught to them by their professor, which she calls as Positive Affirmation. In this exercise, every morning as you wake up, enumerate to yourself 5–10 things that are positive about yourself (such as something you like/love about yourself). In this exercise, you’ll be reminded of your worth, beauty, and uniqueness. It will help you throughout your day because you started your day with so much positivity through a reminder of who you are and what you’re capable of. And as you end the day, name another 5–10 things you’re grateful. Doing this exercise, you’re starting your day by reminding yourself of the greatness and uniqueness that you have. At the same time ending it positively by thanking what you have become.
2. Learn to differentiate.
We all have that inner critic. Although it is good to listen to it to improve yourself and whatnot, however, it is not good to keep on listening to it entirely. Although this may keep us grounded, it can also swallow your self-confidence and your thought about your self-worth. It is why insecurities start to boil up and eat you up. Listen to it to help yourself, but when it comes too much that you already feel small and unsafe, take a break, and don’t believe in it. Learn to differentiate positivity and critics disguised as positivity.
3. Eat healthy. Live healthy.
Eat healthy and nutritious food every day. Get on to that work out you’ve been telling yourself you’d get into. And most especially, living healthy is living outside of your comfort zone.
4. Comparisons? It is a BIG NO-NO.
Always remind yourself that there is no one in the entire universe like you — you’re created in uniquely from your DNA down to your everything. The only person you can always compare and set competition with is yourself. And remember to realize that beauty cannot be defined, you live on it, girl!
5. End ALL toxic relationships.
I mean, what is the use of hoarding and holding on to that very toxic relationship you have? Whether it be a family, friend, partner relationship if it is toxic and not doing any good to you and your growth? End it. Because you don’t need that kind of negativity, sure they can help you identify what it is you need to be working on yourself, but there is a boundary on being someone who supports your growth and someone who disguises to do so.
Photo credit: @laurralucie
6. Go and treat yourself.
Go out there and treat yourself to a spa day or a night out with girlfriends. Having and treating yourself out helps to calm yourself and your nerves as well as relieves yourself from all negativity and stress, allowing you to function more fully and positively. Moreover, treat yourself by surprising yourself on a date or just simply going out there to have fun — — alone. Yes, you read it right, alone. You’ll be surprised how refreshing it would be. In treating yourself, it also means following your passion and what you love doing the most. So, go out there and start making memories with yourself.
7. Learn to say NO.
By saying no, it does not mean you’re a terrible person or worst, a killjoy. It just means you know your limits and you know when and when not to draw the line. It just really means you’ve learned to know yourself and what is best for you. Thus, you have become a wise person.
8. Be realistic, and forgive yourself.
Give up the need to be approved, validated, and adored by others because you don’t need it. What you need is your own self-approval and self-validation. And the most important thing is you have to learn to forgive yourself for all the messy stuff you have put yourself into, your failures, and your mistake. Remember that you are a human too and you can make mistakes and committing such will never end and will never hinder you from becoming the greatest person on earth. Forgiving yourself is accepting yourself. If you’re that kind of person, who does not find it hard to forgive others, how much your self, right?
9. Have visual boards.
Making a visual board it helps you feel inspired, motivated, and excited about what is in store for you in the future. It allows you to be more focused on what matters for you and in your life and how you would want to get there.
10. Self-trust IS important.
Don’t pressure yourself, but trust it instead. Trust your instincts and what you believe in because who else in this world knows you best but yourself, right? And self-trust is a step closer to self-love and self-acceptance. Just like a famous saying that goes “love yourself before you love others,” you must also “trust yourself before trusting others.”
Always remember that you’re a gem. There is so much in you to be proud, thankful, and be worshipped about. But you don’t need others’ validation and affirmation. What you need is yourself. Work on your self-love, and you wouldn’t fathom how satisfying and worth it would be.
What are your thoughts on this? I’d love to hear them below!